Why you can’t see, don’t see value…

You can’t catch what you don’t see
Gratitude is a capacity. You can’t fake it, like you can’t fake riding a bicycle.
Appreciation is another capacity.

Appreciation means: seeing value. Gratitude means: acknowledging value.
There are three levels of values:

Cultural or systemic values. 80% of people see those. They are different culture by culture. But most of them are universal… meaning they are in all cultures… These values are binary, like an on/off switch.These are the “two drawers” the book The Art of Hunting Humans talks about, loser/winner, sad/happy, good/bad, useful/useless, smart/stupid, right/wrong, etc.
The second tear is the value, extrinsic value, the use value humans place on things: they are personal values, mostly… They are closer to what people pay for, with money or reciprocation: tasty (food), a nice conversation (companionship), useful, interes

Gratitude, appreciation is for you, not for the other

I have students who fake thankfulness, gratitude… you can hear it. And occasionally they confess.

To me, to hear the fakeness, it indicates their wretchedness.

They think that gratitude, appreciation is social grease… and you give it to look good, to fit in, to obey some social rule, or because the other needs it.

Their knowledge about how reality works is completely missing…
Gratitude, what you are getting, all live in language… have no existence in reality. Without expressing gratitude you got nothing… and of course nothing to be grateful for.
But if you get nothing, ever, then you are wretched. You got nothing… and no joy, no being moved,no nice feelings, no connection with the other… you are an empty shell waiting to be filled.
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