Before I answer that question, I want to look at something closely related, but something I have only seen addressed one single time. And that is: how to be in a conversation where you listen in such a way, that everything you say will be delightful for to the other… where you are in a gentle and pleasant dance… instead of how you are now: separate, all about yourself… never dancing, never really having an experience of belonging to the human race, or even to that particular conversation. Wanting to win, wanting to dominate, wanting to be right, look good, etc.
And as a result you now have a life that you don’t belong with the closest people, family, lovers, children… co-workers, bosses, even friends, if you even have any.
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