Today’s solution is tomorrow’s bigger problem.

Humans, YOU, want to fix things…

Fixing is forceful, and narrow cone of vision.

Today’s solution is tomorrow’s bigger problem.

Your identity, the things you are known for, your typical behavior have all been fixes… solution to some perceived problem and now you are like a puppet on a string… powerless, inauthentic, and incapable of being happy, peaceful, joyful, and fulfilled.

For example, I experienced getting hurt because I trusted someone… so I decided to never ever ever ever trust anyone again… I became fiercely independent… in everything.
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You expect to f… it up…

… or not f… it up… Same thing. both result in no peace, no joy, no good results.

Why would you have that expectation?

Given the reaction you have to that expectation, given the reaction you have to that sentence, devastation when you actually do f… something up, suggests, that you expect yourself to go through life never making a mistake… i.e. Perfection.

You are not alone. Some people give their whole life to that “not”… to that unreality… and suffer, become total underachievers, and altogether unpleasant people no one really wants around.
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Emotional Intelligence and your experience of life

Emotional Intelligence is a buzz word, an expression, that no one explains, and yet, everyone pretends that they know what they are talking about.

No such THING as emotional intelligence… it is made up.

And yet: some people maneuver life better than others, have less upsets, upheavals, self-hate, than others.

They take obstacles differently than others. They are OK with themselves, and they don’t worry about what other people think about them. They are not attention, approval, drama seekers. They just do what they do… and let others do what others do.

We call those people emotionally intelligent.

I guess you are reading this article because you are not like that.
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Do you talk too much? talk about what is important to you? and no one wants to hear it?

What’s going on?

Quite a few of my students and clients are in this predicament, I even found myself feeling starved for “companionship”… for someone to hear what I have to say.

What is this about?

The answer, the elegant answer comes from a movie, Shall We Dance? where Susan Sarandon hires a private detective to find out what her husband does every Thursday night, and why he is acting so different.

The private detective asks why Susan Sarandon’s character married this guy.

The answer is the answer to your question: “I wanted my life to be witnessed.”
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Overwhelm, survival mode, resignation, what is the connection? And un-managed, how they lead to becoming dead man walking?

I had an important and eye-opening insight today. A looking back…

Let me tell you the story so you get the fact that the likelihood of me ever discovering this was between none and zero.

It began some 30 years ago when I was a magazine publisher. Every time a magazine was already in the street, I went to my computer and cleaned up the space, I archived everything that was said and done, made room for the new issue. I did the same thing in the office.

I called this time and energy consuming step “cleaning from the root”, or alternatively “preparing for a new harvest”…

My life was organized, orderly, I was thin, vibrant, beautiful, and OK.

Then something happened. There is always something that happens before this process begins to really ramp up… but truth be told, it really begins around age 3… hidden for quite a while.
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