I promised to you to report whether the method I recommended worked or not.
The method: tell the story in a way that you completely own what belongs to you, your actions, your reactions, your attitude, your thoughts, your emotions, your expectations, your intentions, etc. And keep telling the story until all the blame disappears.
Now, just by retelling the story to you, I managed to disappear the blame. (Of course I have been practicing taking responsibility for what I own, what belongs to me, for decades! You may not get such fast result!) I started to feel energized, happy, bright, and ambitious again. I started to ask questions and get answers.
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