…when someone, finally, out of the blue, comes into your life and gives you what you haven’t been able to get from anyone, even though you have been trying and trying and trying… in vain.
And then you feel love. No, I mean LOVE… if I could I would make the letters as big as a house. Love. really.
You see, my soul correction, “Forget Thyself” instructs me to listen to someone smarter than me, so I don’t have to learn everything the hard way, but, of course, listening to the instructions is not part of my soul correction, in fact the opposite of it.
So all my life, all the 72 years, I have been a somewhat dumb person, making mistakes of my own design, all the while hopping for someone I can trust to guide me.
It is true that I have Source… but I also wanted a person…
My linchpin issue, my CASE, the next boulder to scale, is “no matter what I do… it won’t work, it doesn’t work, so why bother?”
All my troubles, all my griefs, all my misfortunes, all my upsets were of my own making, my own design… unconscious design. To make this “no matter what I do…” lie appear to be true.
So I can indulge a little more in being a victim.
Like this morning I woke up but didn’t immediately get up, but continued the thread my consciousness started while I slept: to get to the core, to the absolute seed level of why people are jerked by a machine that could also run smoothly…
And then I got up, and didn’t see it necessary to write it down, and guess what? Now I can’t remember what it was… I would laugh if it were really funny… but it is sad-funny… Because here I go again.
My “luck” started to turn around in September, around my 72nd birthday.
I committed, earnestly, to obey Source… and to help heal myself so I can work another 10 years, or however many years I can, to do this experiment: turning homo sapiens, living miserably on the horizontal plane, to human being, living mostly on the vertical plane. To bring in the thousand years of peace, an evolutionary concept, from the Bible.
Back then, somehow, I have no idea how, out of the blue, I started to see the potential of listening to this dude… He is weird like me, in a lot of ways. Not in person, by the way, in his emails.
I started to have a little bit of desire, a tiny flame of desire, to become all I can become, regardless of who I have been. Regardless of what I thought was possible for me. To start listening to what someone else thought was possible for me.
Listening to Source, this dude, maybe even my students.
There is something in how you are listened when you are a teacher, that is either an ego trip, or a straitjacket, or, as in my case, an honest expectation for me to be the one who’ll take them to the Promised Land. And find empowerment in that.
It seems that MY thousand years of peace began when I turned 72.
Let’s see if we can turn what seems to be predictable, probably, almost certain for you: forever being trapped in the
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